Weekend Update: Worshiping the Porcelain God, Live Jazz, and Gene Kelly… Among Other Things

What better way to get the blog post writing juices flowing than a linkup that you’ve never participated in before but keep watching from the sidelines (hat tip to Kimberly for this one). I have seriously been cross-eyed and drooling all day trying to think of a topic… Link up to the rescue!

My weekend kicked off at 5:30pm with office cocktails. The company that my company shares an office with throws a monthly cocktail party in the office, and last night was it. I didn’t leave the office until 10pm, far more inebriated than I expected I’d be and narrowly missed being dragged out dancing.

I came home, worshiped the porcelain god, stripped naked and fell asleep.

I woke up Saturday morning with the classic hangover headache and a stomach screaming, “DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DRINK AND DON’T EAT, BITCH!? DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS? THIS! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS!”

I worship the porcelain god, again. Fall back to sleep.

Wake up an hour later, same urge. I run to the bathroom to discover that James is in there. I call out, “I need to throw up!”

He comes out the bathroom door just as I manage to projectile vomit across the kitchen towards his feet, “OH CHRIST!” he says, as I stand there motionless, heaving a mixture of water and bile all over the floor, “Don’t just stand there, go throw up in the toilet!” he reminds me.

I owe him for cleaning up after me. I was so out of it.

I crawled back into bed and slept off my embarrassment, waking up about 1:30 in the afternoon.

I puttered around the Internet for awhile, reading blogs and writing a blog post….

Around 6:30 I rallied and boarded a train to head down to The Loove, a recording studio that specializes in some rather spectacular jazz, for a live session with saxophonist Gary Bartz.


Came home, watched some Family Guy with James, go to sleep.

I sleep away most of Sunday, and read lots of blogs, and decide that I don’t want to write anything.

James comes home from work about 6pm and we watch more Family Guy. A little after 9pm, we venture out for groceries and discover that the store we like to go to is closed because they close at 9pm on Sundays. The only grocery store open is the one that’s expensive… we cave and go there.

We come home, prepare a roast to put in the crockpot over night together, and then go back to Family Guy… which happens to be the episode with the recreation of the scene from Anchors Aweigh where Gene Kelly dances Jerry from Tom & Jerry.

The two scenes side by side here:

Which kicked off a YouTube tangent of watching clips of Gene Kelly in Singing in the Rain and Brigadoon and perhaps his most impressive number, tap dancing in roller skates in It’s Always Fair Weather

From there, we go on to visit a bunch more musicals and then land on listening to Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin and giggling over how drunk they seem and yet how wonderful they sound in this clip and lamenting the lack of showmanship in music and movies these days.

After about an hour, we remember we were watching Family Guy and return to finish the episode… and then, we go to bed.

So, that was my weekend. How was yours?

Sunday Confessions #23: Shopping Fail, A Walk with a Friend, Chores, Kittens, and Cheetos

1. I went out with the mission to buy new shoes and new pants and returned empty handed. I’ve been so inactive since moving in with James and working out of the house that I somehow crept up two pants sizes and I currently own two pairs of pants that fit me. I pretty much was unaware of all of this the past six months because I was just wearing t-shirts and yoga pants and not leaving the house most of the time. Now that I actually have to go to work, I’m finding that nothing fits so now it’s time to buy new clothes…. and I’m obviously still resisting this process. I went in the store, got disenfranchised with the price of pants and walked out. Then, I went and looked at shoes at DSW, and I found absolutely nothing that I liked. So, shopping mission fail.

2. I may have been derailed from my shopping mission by running into a friend in Union Square. I caught him out of the corner of my eye and texted him, “Did I just see you or your doppelganger walk across Union Square?” and watched him pull his phone out of his pocket. We ended up going to Whole Foods where I bought an orange soda and a tirmisu and we walked over to High Line (it’s a park that’s on where the elevated train used to be on that side of town) and hung out.

3. I cooked dinner, washed the dishes and cleaned the bathroom floor yesterday. I’m happy with that accomplishment. I should probably do the kitchen floor tonight, but I’m already feeling lazy and I don’t think it’s going to happen. Soon though. Maybe tomorrow.

4. I spent the morning researching options for adopting a kitten. This may have something to do with the fact that James was pretty much ready to kittynap the bodega kitten. Ever since he met that little guy, it’s been all about how we ought to get Logan a little friend to play with. We shall see how this develops…

5. I just impulsively ate half a bag of Cheetos and now regret it. I’m pretty sure this is how I jumped up two pants sizes in the past six months… Random eating of junk and not walking enough. Need to knock that shit out!

Sunday Confessions #22: A Wedding, Photography, Sleep, The New Adele Single and Chores

1. Often when I have a very busy weekend, I find myself not wanting to sit down and blog about it because I’m just too damn tired… and then because I didn’t do it right away, I never get around to it. In particular, this weekend was quite busy because my good friend Jonathan and Rachelle got married! I feel entirely too tired to recap the event, and I didn’t end up taking any pictures myself, but our friend Anna whom I traveled to the ceremony and reception location with got some good ones that I can share!

Anna & Nikki
Taken on the walk between the bus stop and the venue.

Wedding Sign
Adorable wedding sign that Rachelle made.

Jon & Rachelle
Jon & Rachelle during the ceremony.

2. I used to be the girl who was running around with the camera at these types of events. Back in my early 20s, I was always the one running around with the camera…. and sometime after I moved to New York, I just stopped being that person. I rarely take pictures with my DSLR outside of the house because I’m loathe to carry it anywhere. Half the time I can’t even be bothered to pull out the cell phone and take a shot…. and overall, I think this is a good thing. Maybe it’s not such a good thing for my memory books, but because I’m not hiding behind the armor of a camera, I’m much more apt to be socially engaged with the people around me.

3. I love my new job, but this whole needing to get up and leave the house in the morning thing is tough to get used to. My first week was awesome, but the only thing that I feel a little off about is my sleep. I’m sure things will even out in the weeks to come… but the first week was hard! It’s really tough when your partner comes home from work in the middle of the night! There were a couple of times my night’s sleep was split in two because I got home and climbed immediately into bed and then slept for four or five hours, then got up when he got home and hung out for a few hours and then napped for 3 or 4 more.

4. I am seriously digging Adele’s new single “Skyfall” which is the theme to the new James Bond movie. I was reading that the track features a 77 piece orchestra and was recorded at Abbey Road Studios. Now… listen.

5. I am incredibly behind on the household chores. My tasks to get completed this week were to clean the bathroom, do the dishes and take over the laundry… and my current status? Bathroom is half cleaned. I kinda got stuck on that one because the handle on the mop bent so it’s a really big pain in the butt to mop now, but I did it anyway. The floor was pretty disgusting due to the flood so my approach is to clean off a layer of dirt, let things dry a bit, then go over it again and then it should be better…. I think I’m going to try and do the dishes before I crash out for the night.

Flashback Friday: Ohio at Age 3


One of the things that I think is interesting about pictures is how they can help you to sustain rather mundane details of a particular day over the course of time. It’s not always the case of course, but it always surprises me when I go through my childhood photos and can recount precise details of a day that happened 25 years ago that would probably have been forgotten if their hadn’t been a picture to affix that memory to.

This particular picture has that quality…

This picture was taken in Ohio when I was three years old. It was my Uncle Gene’s birthday… I’m not sure which one, probably 80th, and the extended family all went to Ohio to throw him a party. It was the first of three times I visited this particular branch of my mother’s family.

I remember being loaded into my father’s van in the middle of the night, stopping at a McDonalds for breakfast somewhere in the middle of 11 hour trip and waking up in Ohio.

I remember following my cousin Ricky who was probably somewhere in his early teens around like a shadow.

I remember being puzzled as to why these people who my mom referred to as my aunt and cousins seemed to show up about 10 minutes after we did anywhere and asked her, “Why do they keep following us?”

In particular, I remember that in this photo I really had to pee and the adults on the other side of that table were just not getting what I was trying to communicate. They snapped my photo, they told me the cake was for later and I was just stuck gesticulating wildly trying to get their attention for someone to help me find a bathroom!

Soul Food Monday: Laugh At Yourself


Today was a big day for me… It was my first day back at a real 9 to 5 (ermm.. 10 to 6, this is NYC after all…) job. I’m working for someone with whom I’ve worked before so it’s not nearly as nervewracking as working for someone totally new, but still… I wanted to start out on the right foot. I wanted to dress nice, put on my makeup and be ruling today! So, I picked out my clothes the night before and was all, “This is going to be awesome!”

And well… Some days, NYC likes to serve caviar and other days it’s humble pie. Today was humble pie day.

I got up, showered and then went to go get dressed only to discover that my butt no longer fits into the skirt that I wanted to wear. The work from home lifestyle I’d been living for largely the last year had very obviously caught up with me. The last time I had to wear nice clothes to work… That skirt fit.

Which left me rummaging around for something suitable to wear. I settled on a dress with a cotton top and a velvet bottom, black tights and because it was a little chilly this morning I grabbed my long leather coat.

I rush through my makeup, and realize that I’m now set for a departure of the homestead 10 minutes later than what I wanted. I rush around and pack up my computer and the rest of the stuff I need and run out the door and then put my hands in my pockets and discover that I have left my keys locked in the apartment…. So I have to call James, and thankfully he picks up on call #2 (that man is a champion phone call sleeper through-er remind me to tell you about it sometime) and gives me my keys… I give him a kiss goodbye and head to the subway stop.

On the way there, I notice a group of men kinda giving me a funny look… It isn’t terribly unusual in my neighborhood to get cat called or leered at, so I just sorta made a mental note and did an internal eye roll.

I get there, and I need to buy a Metrocard… as I’m going through the motions the annoucement comes through that there’s an Express train arriving in the direction that I want to go, this is the train that I ideally want… and I’m missing it. It is what it is.

I finish my transaction, frustrated by my lateness and sorta wanting to turn around and go back to bed, but I summon my courage and head down to the platform and start walking to the opposite end which is where I need to transfer when I get to my stop. The bell rings to signify that the Local train is about to leave and say to myself, “Fuck it, might as well take the Local.” It’s slower, because it makes all the stops on the line whereas the Express train skips most of them but it goes to the same place. I’m already running late… What’s another few minutes? And besides, I’m guaranteed a seat.

So, I get on the train… and there’s a woman sitting there that I’m about to walk by when she points to my dress and says, “Honey, you might want to look…”

I look down.

My dress has managed to ride itself all the way up around my waist.

I’d been walking around for I don’t know how long with the top of my tights and my underwear showing.

“Oh my god…” I shake my head at myself, “It’s been one of those days,” I explain to the woman and the other lady sitting across the aisle and we laugh together.

“I guess that explains all those guys looking at me funny…”

One of the ladies laughs, “Yeah, I bet you made their morning!”

On the positive side, I did have my jacket on… So, no one saw from behind, and I buttoned myself the whole way up before I got off the train just to have a little extra coverage in case it happened again (and it did… apparently, the friction between the coat and the dress caused it to roll up).

Today’s lesson was you gotta slow down and not stress, and you’ve got to laugh at yourself when these things happened. Sure, it was a little embarrassing… but I have to say, it was a lot more funny than mortifying!

In what ways have you learned to laugh at yourself lately?

Sunday Confessions #21: Glitter and Corset, The Bathroom, The Burlesque Edition, Panic and Computer Troubles

1. I just finished writing my submissions for Fifty Shades of Glitter AND for the the next issue of Corset Magazine and now I’m having a sexuality retrospective hangover. I think I just did a bunch of conscious realization of just how low my self-esteem really has been over the past 15 years, especially in the realm of the bedroom. Writing those pieces was incredibly cathartic.

Also, If you hadn’t heard, the absolutely fabulous Dead Cow Girl is pulling together an anthology of women’s stories about sex. The deadline for submissions was extended until October 20th, so if you’re a lady you should totally submit your story (don’t worry, you can be anonymous). Find out more information here.

Corset Magazine is an indie magazine about all things sexuality.

2. I didn’t clean the bathroom today because we didn’t have any water for most of the day. We have water now, but now I’m totally demotivated to do anything and I’m trying to get myself to be tired so I go to bed at a decent hour. I have a feeling that’s SO not going to happen.

3. It was incredibly terrifying to post The Burlesque Edition of I’m Proud of My Size. I went back and forth as to whether or not I should have posted the final picture of that post because it might be going too far by showing bare boob and I wasn’t sure if I should have posted the video… but I decided to go with bravery. I’m not ashamed, I’m empowered by this stuff. I do feel a little disappointed that I didn’t get more of a response… Was it too brave? Did I scare people?

4. I briefly panicked because I thought I had lost the first three items on this list. I clicked save draft and then the Internet appeared to eat it because my router was acting up. Thankfully, it must have gotten through because after I reset and came back, everything was still here thanks to some miracle of science. Woo!

5. I am so looking forward to not having to share my computer. Again. James’ power supply bit the big one earlier this week so we’ve been computer sharing again which basically means when he’s home, I have to share and it drives me crazy because My Computer is Mine! He went and bought a power supply this morning so when he gets home and puts it in, he (fingers crossed) should be fixed and all normal order restored to the house.

Sunday Social: Childhood

Sunday Social

I found this week’s questions from the Sunday Social compelling so I figured, hey… what the hell… I’ll bite.

1. What do you miss most about being a kid? Having all of the major stuff just taken care of for you. I liked being blissfully unaware of things like bills and having mom make the phone call to see make doctors appointments when I was sick.

2. Did you have a nickname growing up? Well, I guess Nikki which is short for Nicole… but that’s still what people call me. I was told that when I was a baby, my dad dubbed me Stinky but the name didn’t stick after I ditched the diapers… and there was a two year period in middle school when a few of the boys dubbed me Medusa because whenever anyone was doing something dumb, I had this crazy eyed knock it off stare I’d do…. which was nearly all the time because 7th graders are constantly doing dumb shit.

3. What was your favorite thing to do at recess? When I was really young, the thing to do was Chinese jump rope and I was among the girls who kept the trend going the longest at school… Later on, the thing to do was hang out on the swings or hang out underneath the big slide talking.

4. What did you want to be when you grew up? I felt like I never had a definitive answer for this… Though, I have a memory of being about five and sitting on the steps up to the porch watching the guy who was replacing our electrical meter and he asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said a plastic surgeon to which he replied “Oh… That’s interesting. Why do you want to be one of those?” and I said, “Because I think doing surgery on plastic would be interesting!” I obviously had no idea what that was other than the words plastic and surgery sounded good together.

5. What was your favorite toy? I had a stuffed rabbit named Megan that had a plastic face that I chewed right off. I brought her everywhere.

6. What is the funniest thing you did as a kid that your parents still remind you about? Apparently there was an incident when I was around 3 years old where my mother had brought my grandmother and I out to lunch and we were sitting in a booth and somehow I managed to knock over my orange juice and then proceeded to stand up in the booth, look at the table scowling and while wringing my little hands out muttered, “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”

I’m Proud of My Size: See, I Wear More Than Just Pajamas!


It’s been awhile since I’ve participated in the I’m Proud of My Size link-up, despite the fact that it does happen to be one of my favorites to browse through and read… I feel a little bad about that, but the reality of it is while I am proud of my size, I’m Not So Proud of My Self-Photography and I’m Not So Proud That I Wear Pajama Pants As If They Were Real Pants On A Nearly Daily Basis.

However, opportunity struck to break routine last night when Rachele announced the Lonely Homebody Chat, a bunch of us blogger ladies got on camera last night and hung out and broadcasted using Google+ Hangouts (you can go over there and see two hours of video… it’s not like super entertaining all of the time though because we totally left too many lulls in the conversation, but you know… It was the first time we did one!). It was a great time, and she’s planning on hosting more and I’m considering hosting one sometime maybe if anyone is interested in that sort of thing… but anyway…

Clothes. I was going to talk about clothes.

You might not know this, but I did a very brief stint as a cam girl in the not so distant past. You know, those girls that strip on the Internet in front of their webcam? Yeah, I did that for awhile. In case you didn’t know, that’s not easy money. To be able to do that is a life skill, and one that I totally didn’t have… and while stories about that are totally irrelevant to this post, I did learn a fair bit about looking good on camera in the experience and now I have a weird thing about having to have good lighting and not be washed out when I’m on camera. So, I set up my “camming lights” (aka a desk lamp that’s aimed towards me) and ran to the bathroom and did my makeup.

I wasn’t originally going to get dressed up. I was happily wearing yoga pants and a Rock n’ Roll Fantasy Camp sweatshirt that I stole from James… but when I sat back down in front of the camera, I was all like… “I look fucking ridiculous wearing make-up with a hoodie.” I blame the lipstick. I’m not generally make-up wearer outside of burlesque shows so the only color lipstick I own is Don’tYouWantToFuckMyMouth Red (because when you’re on a bootstrap budget, that’s the mainstay color that you need) and since I put it on… it necessitated having to actually having to go full dress.

Which after I was dressed meant it was so obvious that I could kill two birds with one stone by throwing my camera up on the dresser and taking a few shots of the outfit. Here’s my obligatory fashion post of the next six months, mwha!

The dress is by Trac in size 2XL and I bought it at Re/Dress, which is an online size 14 and larger vintage and modern clothing shop. At the time when I bought this, they had a brick and mortar store in Cobble Hill but due to the fact that the economy blows, they had to close it.

Of the dresses that I own, I tend to think that this is one of my gutsier ones. It’s low cut so there’s MAD cleavage. It’s short, so don’t bend over (or at least wear cute underpants so if you accidentally forget everyone gets a nice view) and if you’d shown me the dress five years ago and told me, “You’ll wear that in public.” I would have been like, “NO way, I don’t think so.”

I’ve historically been a relatively conservative dresser… and by relatively conservative, I mean I wear jeans and t-shirts. In part, that’s just due to laziness because finding clothes that are fashionable AND fit usually takes longer than five minutes in the dressing room… uhh.. yeah. I think you see where I’m going with this.

But that’s not the whole story.

Somewhere along the way I picked up the message that busty girls cover it up and that showing boob crack equaled S-L-U-T and that god forbid the unspeakable happen and I get raped or for that matter harassed on the street… Being on the receiving end of that dreaded phrase, “Asking for it.”

Believe me, nobody is ever asking for that and that has nothing to do with what you’re wearing.

Shit, things just got heavy all up in here. But it’s true.

For years, I believed that my curves were something dangerous and something to be ashamed of. I believed that they were something that I should hide. I believed that I was somehow less than because of the gender I was born.

And as I’ve aged I’ve come to realize, that’s a bunch of bullshit.

Sunday Confessions #19: Cleaning and Organization, Being Antisocial, Make-up, Writer’s Block and Blogging Tutorials

1. I hate everything that has to do with cleaning and organization. Since I’m in-between gigs at the moment, that sorta means cleaning organization sorta *is* my main gig and I’m failing at it big time. It’s absolutely uncanny my ability to be able to walk into the room and totally ignore all of the stuff that I have to get done. I mean sure, I recognize that when I walk into the bathroom I really need to vacuum and wash the floor… or that the sink is full of dishes… and sure, I know my general state of happiness will be much better if I just buckled down and took the 15 minutes to actually DO those things, but still… I turn around and stick my nose in the screen and beat myself up on my blog. I think I need to be revisiting FlyLady.

2. I’ve been an antisocial recluse all week. I realized yesterday when I was walking to Rite-Aid to pick up some toothbrushes that I’d pretty much not left the apartment since I got back from Vermont last weekend. I think I might have left once to go to the grocery store with James on Tuesday (Was that Tuesday? Or maybe it was Wednesday… I’ve lost track) and that’s about it. This happens any time I don’t have money in my bank account… which is silly, because there’s no law saying that I have to be an antisocial recluse because I’m broke. It just sorta happens that way.

3. Wearing make-up makes me feel extremely self-conscious. I very seldom wear make-up, and when I do it tends to be really understated because if I try to do anything that’s bold I look in the mirror and say to myself, “Who do you think you are? You look like such a dirty slut!” and if I just tell myself to go with it, I’m terrified that people are staring at me because I made a make-up faux pas. However, when I notice other women’s makeup on the train I never think things like that about them… I might notice if someone has some particularly bold eyeliner or is wearing a bright lipstick, but it’s almost always admiration that they can pull it off.

4. I feel like I’ve been struggling with a nasty case of writer’s block this week. I started something like three different blog entries and got a paragraph in and couldn’t find the words to express what I wanted to say. I especially seem to struggle when I start something on a whim and then something happens to distract me… Like, I start writing something and then James comes home in the middle and wants to talk. By the time I get back to it, I’ve lost my momentum and don’t know what to say next.

5. I had a lot of fun sitting at home on a Saturday night writing my first blogging related tutorial. If you hadn’t noticed my previous entry, check out The 411 on How to Follow a Blog: GFC and Google Reader. I think I’m going to do more of these… There’s so much random stuff that I seem to know about that I assume everyone knows about, so I don’t write about it… and it turns out, sometimes people don’t know a lot of the things I just assume they know so I probably should write about it. So I’m going to. If you happen to have any suggestions, please let me know!

Sunday Confessions #18: Sound Sensitivity, Political Tension, My Bed, Yoga and Settling In

1. Sometimes my boyfriend’s television watching habit drives me crazy because of all the noise that television makes. I’m one of those people who has a really hard time filtering out sounds that aren’t related to what I’m currently focusing on. It’s really difficult for me at times to sit down and write a blog entry or read a book or really do anything if the television is on and I can hear it… and it’s so frustrating! I hate having to constantly ask him to turn it down or put on headphones but some days the frustration that it causes just simply pushes me into meltdown mode. I’d probably be batshit insane if it weren’t for my headphones and SimplyNoise.com. This problem is also one of the reasons why I’m not a huge fan of working in an office setting…

2. I tweeted earlier this week something to the effect of, “Whenever I go on Facebook, I find myself wondering how long before America slips into it’s next civil war?” Perhaps that’s a bit strong of a sentiment… but considering the animosity and failure to truly have a dialogue I see between people sitting on the right and left on a daily basis on Facebook, and for that matter… my own feelings out outrage toward people whose opinions I strongly disagree with… I seriously wonder this. And it terrifies me.

3. I am so happy to have my mattress back! We stacked my mattress on top of James’ to save space for the time being and to give me the pleasure of having my own bed back, I didn’t realize how much I missed my awesome half memory foam – half latex mattress. I’ve slept better the past two nights than I have in ages.

4. I’m struggling with motivation to go back to yoga class after having a rough one week before last. The last time I went to yoga class, I guess I was a little bit dehydrated and about 3/4 of the way through the class I just started hyperventilating and seeing stars and nearly passed out. I recognized there was a problem and sat down, and the teacher got me some water and a cool towel and was able to regain my strength again but it was a pretty scary experience. I have a feeling I’m going to have to stick to the restorative and gentle classes for awhile to regain my confidence. I did manage to do an hour long video yesterday though, Do Yoga With Me’s Burnout to Bliss was pretty excellent.

5. I’m still feeling pretty overwhelmed with the settling in process. I’m so glad to have all of my things here with me at my new place of residence, but I’m still having a hard time thinking of this as being my home… I still keep thinking of it as James’ home, which it is that too… but it’s our home now. For now, I’m just trying to be patient and roll with it.